Stupid People

Is it just me or is there an abundance of stupid people in this world? Let's start with my daily commute to work. I've been driving from Oshawa to Toronto for over two-and-a-half years now and the amount of stupid drivers out there is amazing. I can't understand why people just can't flick on their signal when they are switching lanes. It is just common courtesy. It's almost as bad as the idiots who speed up in bumper to bumper traffic so I can't change into the lane I want to go to. No sense at all. Speaking of bumper to bumper if you are tailgating someone the traffic ain't going to go quicker. You just have a greater chance of rear ending the dude when he slams on his breaks. I've seen it happen. My favourite thing to do to drivers who tailgate me (in normal or busy traffic) is to slow right down just to piss them off. Then when they try to pass me I speed up again. If I'm going 140km in the fast lane don't tailgate me. I'm not going any faster because I don't want my car confiscated by the cops under the Ontario street racing law.

Let's talk about stupid pedestrians. When there is a hand on the streetlight that means don't walk or if the words "don't walk" are on the light that means DON'T WALK. I hate when people casually stroll across the street while I'm driving down it. I purposely speed up just to scare the shit out of them. If one day I happen to hit one it won't be my fault as they were jay walking. It's called Karma and evolution as the smartest will survive. Deal with it stupid people.

As I said I'm from Oshawa. We have a cornucopia of stupid people here. You can recognize them in many ways. The guys often have wife beater shirts on, are walking a pit bull or rotweiller and can't string more than two sentences together without swearing. The women often have tight track pants on, a shirt that doesn't fit and have the same vocabulary as the guys with the dogs (and they're often walking with the guys with the dogs). The stupidity can often be spotted at a young age. Just go to the Oshawa Centre at any time of the day and look for the 14-year-old kids pushing baby strollers. They've passed it on - it's a never ending cycle. The last hint is by walking into any variety store and watching someone cash in a plethora of lottery tickets, spend all their winnings ($10 here $5 there, free ticket) plus lay out a bunch of cash on top of that for even more lottery tickets. These people are usually dressed shabbily and have holes in their shoes. They are also the ones who will take no responsiblity for their own disease (if they happen to be gambling addicts) and want to sue someone else (e.g. - OLG; casino; etc.).

I find a lot of stupid people at Tim Horton's. I'll be waiting in line for like 10 minutes and when the person ahead of me orders they chose that time to start looking for change. If you have 10 minutes to wait why not get your money ready then? Makes sense to me.

Then there's the bank machine people. If two out of the three machines are busted and there's a line up. Please have some courtesy and put off paying the dozen checks, doing your taxes, etc. until a less busy time. Also bank machine kiosks are not garbage dumps. I think the people who use them as dumps are the same ones mentioned in my Shwa part of this post.

I guess I'm still in a bad mood from my very Crappy Christmas and Shitty New Year. DOH!!!
Dave the Dude

A Very Shitty Christmas and a Crappy New Year

Wow. What a month it's been. Things have gone from bad to worse and are just starting to get back to normal, but not quite. One day I awoke to find a pipe, furance and electrical problem in my house so a few hours later I have a plumber, electrician and furnace dude in my house. The house is almost 100-years-old and I expected some problems but not this many. I ended up buying a  whole new furnace throwing my budget out the window. The electrical problem was about $1500. The only good thing was the plumber didn't charge me at all and showed me how to fix the issue myself (so far so good).

While this was all going on I was in a huge fight with my fiance. The following is the details of the fight. I've given her permission to block out any details she doesn't want publicly known.

So we woke up and ------------------------------- fuck you ------------------------------- I can't believe you did that ------------------------------- well you can just go to hell ------------------------------- okay sorry ------------------------------- and then you did this .... wait I thought you said ------------------------------- ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's about the gist of it. I don't know what it is but the holidays make people crazy. Everyone seems to be in one grumpy mood. I got all my shopping done in by December 21. Most of it was done way before via online shopping. The ironic thing is I don't even celebrate Christmas because I'm Jewish. But my fiance and the majority of my friends do celebrate it. One thing that has been really annoying me this holiday season is these people driving around with a red nose on their front grill and antlers sticking out of their windows. You're car does not look like Rudolph.

The other night I was watching the news and they did this 10 minute story on this guy whose million Christmas lights are being vandalized. In the end it turns out the guy is Jewish (so I don't know why he is putting up lights) and the vandals were rabbits. Talk about a slow news day. Isn't there violence going on somewhere in the Middle East or some starving kids somewhere.

Last night I watched my favourite holiday film The Hebrew Hammer. I got my fiance to watch it with me telling her how hilarious it is. I think she laughed once. Doh!!! I tell you there's nothing better than a Jewish super hero. His secret power is Jewish guilt. Jewish guilt!!!! How can you beat that?!!!!

Well this is going to be a short blog. Everyone have a safe holiday and happy New Year. Remember sleep late; have a Tims (but not after 3:00 PM today or at all tomorrow - what's up with them closing when I most need them?); take a bath; catch up on your favourite TV show; try not to stress; Live Long and Prosper.

Dave the Dude

In the immortal words of Cliff Claven: What's up with that?

One of my favourite Cheers episodes (yes I'm dating myself here) was when Cliff Claven became a stand up comedian and the only one who got his jokes, which all ended with, "What's up with that?", was Lilith Crane. That was great. So in keeping with that tradition...

I keep seeing people in pick up trucks driving around with bull balls hung at the back of their truck. What's up with that? (to qualify I am from the Shwa). I saw one guy driving around in a Dodge truck with the words, "Dodge the Father - Ram the Daughter" written on his back window. He didn't have the bull balls hanging from his truck. What's up with that?

Every time something controversial happens in Ontario, Canada (can't speak for other provinces) people cry for a public inquiry. Case in point the most recent call for one is regarding the police and the G20 summit in Toronto. During my stint as a media montior I figured out that we spends millions of taxpayers dollars on these inquiries, they put out a huge report with recommendations and then nothing is done. I think they only one, to my memory, that actually accomplished something was the blood inquiry by Krever. What up with that?

The Human Rights Tribunal in Canadian provinces. What up with that? Stop whining people and get on with your life. The cases these tribunals hear are so ridiculous that the whole process has become a mockery. What up with that?

Twenty-five years after the Air India bombing the Canadian government reveals its action plan on terrorists. Need I say more - what's up with that?

Vegetarians; vegans; people who think Star Wars is better than Star Trek; drivers who lose all sense when the first snow fall comes; people who didn't get the Canadian classic TV show Corner Gas; fans of rap; people who don't like jazz; people who are going to vote for Dalton McGuinty in Ontario again; fans of any reality TV show other than the news and Jeopardy; people who think Twilight is a good vampire series; soccer; women who are against all men's gyms but think it's okay for an all women's gym; murder trials in Canada that take years to start -------WHAT'S UP WITH THAT!!????

Dave the Dude

Movies

One of my favourite things is going to the movies. For some reason, life and all that jazz, I haven't gone in awhile. Tonight my finace and I went to see "Unstoppable". Chose this movie for three reasons: Denzel Washington was in it and I loves the Denzel (in a manly way). Chris Pine was in it and he is the new Captain James Tiberius Kirk so as a Trekker I must keep close watch on his career. The movie started within five minutes of another movie that my fiance's sister was taking the kids to. Unstoppable also has the babe Rosario Dawson (Eagle Eye; Seven Pounds) in it. The movie, inspired by a true story, starts off with these two train guys who accidentally let this huge train loose by itself. The train starts getting faster and faster and it seems like nothing can stop it. Enter train veteran Frank (Denzel) and rookie Will (Pine) who are off to save the day. I know - I know - the premise sounds boring but this is one great flick. It's an edge of the seat thriller with no breaks for breath. My hand still hurts from my fiance squeezing it during this thriller. I give this flick four coffees out of five. I'm now in the mood to see the 1985 classic Runnaway Train starring John Voight, Eric Roberts and Rebecca De Mornay.

One of the things that always happens to me when going to the movies is having to leave half way through to take a leak. This movie was no exception. I walked down the stairs then started moving across the front walkway when I tripped over this large object. The object turns out to be a dog this guy in a wheelchair has with him. Luckily (this is the first time I've said this) I have an anxiety disorder which has provided me with very quick reflexes. Instead of doing a huge face plant onto the floor I broke my fall with both hands and push upped my self into a standing position. It was quite comical. I felt bad for the dog and gave it a pet on the head.

Now what I don't get is why this guy had a dog in the theatre in the first place. I'm pretty sure he wasn't blind nor deaf. He was just a dude in a wheelchair. I think he took advantage of his handicapped position to get his dog into the movie theatre. I mean I'm vertically challenged but I don't take my cat to the theatre.

The other thing that irked me at this movie theatre (besides the food prices) was the fact that the previews sucked. That's usually my favourite part. Oh well. I'm still tryng to decide if I'm excited about Tron coming out or not.

That's it for now. Catch you on the flip side.
Dave the Dude

Memories

Well lit the candles this evening for the third day of Chanukkah. There was me, my fiance, her son and nephew and my bud's son who we were looking after. I said each word of the prayer in Hebrew and they repeated after me. Unfortunately I can't remember some things properly (especially prayers in Hebrew) if I say them one word at a time and it was the wrong prayer. I said the correct one afterward. Oh well.

When I was a kid my family would all watch television together. My Mom would always point out which famous person was Jewish. I continued this tradition with my friends in high school and even catch myself doing it today. My buddy Neil would always be asking me, "how do you know this?" In honour of Chanukkah and this memory here's a link to Adam Sandler's "The Hanukkah Song". http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vrd9p47MPHg

Everyone always thinks I got a present every day for Chanukkah. That never happened. I didn't even get very good presents. One year I got cardboard. I swear!! My Mom bought me these cardboard things with plastic in the middle to slip coins into. I don't think I even collected coins.

I told my fiance this story about me as a kid, it's her favourite. Growing up all the kids on my street were about the same age. We all went to each others' houses and celebrated birthday parties with each other. Well one year my friend asked me where I was going on vacation because his Mom told him that I wouldn't be at his birthday party because my family was going away. This was news to me and my Mom said we weren't going anywhere. I told my friend this but his Mom didn't believe him and my Mom wouldn't call her up to tell her there was a mistake. Come the day of the party all the kids are at his house and I'm all alone. So I walked up and down the street with my head down kicking stones. My friend's Mom saw me on the street and called me up to join the party. Everyone felt sorry for me and made me feel better. I didn't even have a present. This would have made a great Leave it To Beaver epsiode.

When I was in grade seven I came home for lunch. All the my friend's would show up at 12:00 PM so we could watch Leave it to Beaver. I'm still looking for a Larry Mundellow (sp) T-Shirt. That would be cool.

Well that's it for now. Me thinks I'm going to bed. Yawn.
Dave the Dude

Gas prices, sex and grilled cheese and Happy Hanukkah

What a day it's been. Busy, busy busy. It's days like this when I wish I hadn't quit smoking. Remember the movie Airplane when the one guy starts smoking and his buddy says, "didn't you quit?", to which he replies, "I picked a bad day to quit smoking." The same joke keeps going, first he starts drinking then he ends up (I think) smoking crack. "I picked a bad day to stop smoking crack". That cracked me up (pun fully intended).

I finished work and began the trek home on Highway 401 from Toronto, Ontario to Oshawa. The buisest section of highway in the world. Heard on the news that gas prices are going up over four cents by midnight. Holy crap. What's the deal with gas prices? How come when something happens in the world gas prices go up right away but when we hear about something that will cause prices to lower they say it won't effect the prices for a long time? Never did get it. I still believe there are forces in collusion. I recently watched two documentaries, "Collapse" and "Who Killed the Electric Car". Both flicks clearly point out that our dependence on oil has gone crazy. Everything is made of oil - plastic; tires; and a whole bunch of other stuff that I'm too tired to remember right now.

Back in high school I made up this song called Blow Job Lips. I was in grade 10. All my buddies thought it was hilarious. Once I reached university I sang it to my fellow residentites and they liked it too. So I started performing at talent nights and made a new song up each time. One of the songs was entitled Sex and Grilled Cheese. It was pretty funny. I gave up my entertaining career shortly after graduation. It was fun while it lasted. I used to get wasted before I hit the stage and then extremely wasted after. Although if I got too wasted before then I couldn't play the guitar properly. Many years later I ended up selling my guitar, Fender Strat, for like $200 to get crack. Never played again.

Today is the first day of Hanukkah. My fiance and future step son came over and we lit the menorah and I said the traditional prayers. It was quite fun. I celebrate Hanukkah, Fetivus and Christmas this time of year. To all my Jewboy brethren a Happy Hanukkah.

Well got to go eat. Until we meet again.
Dave the Dude

First Blog

Wow this is pretty cool. I googled how to start a blog and presto this comes in the google search. This is my first posting and not sure what to write. Usually I have a lot to say but I just quit smoking yesterday and am getting restless, irritable and disconent. I was restless irritable and discontent over five years ago because I was an active alcoholic and drug addict. Thanks to Alcoholics Anonymous (Fellowship and the 12 Steps) I am a recoverd alcoholic/addict. Hopefully the same process will work for my quitting smoking.

Just over a year ago I quit smoking and made it to a month. On the exact month anniversary I came home before work to find my Dad collpased in the bathroom after having suffered a major stroke. Following six hours with him in the ER I broke down and started smoking again. DOH!!!

I've had the last two days off of work. Must have been to Lowes a minimum of five times between yesterday and today. Christmas decorations, nails, a new clothes dryer, etc. I don't even really celebrate Christmas as I am Jewish and Chanukkah begins tomorrow (Dec. 1, 2010). However, I'm engaged to lovely lady who does celebrate Christmas and so my first tree went up yesterday. It looks pretty good. Tomorrow I'll light the menorah in front of it. LOL.

Well that's it for now. Just testing how this thing works.

Dave the Dude