No Trigger for Me

 

I was listening to talk radio today and they were discussing a call from local liquor makers to have booze sold in grocery stores. Right now only beer and wine are sold there and even that is relatively new. I live in Ontario, Canada which has had a Victorian Era outlook on booze. People were calling into the radio station to give their two cents as to why they either agreed or disagreed with the idea. One caller adamantly opposed the idea. His reasoning was that it would trigger and cause alcoholics to drink. I cringed upon hearing him.

I attended my first meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous on January 7, 2005 and have been sober since. As a result of working and living the 12 Steps of AA I have become a recovered alcoholic.

As a recovered alcoholic I am not triggered by seeing a bottle of booze. I am not triggered by seeing a beer commercial. I can go into a bar and watch a band while people drink around me without being fearful that I will run up to the bar and begin to drink. As a recovered alcoholic that is the freedom I was promised and the freedom I enjoy today. Bill Wilson, co-founder of AA, did not want people to hide and cower from booze. The program he and the first 100 members of AA developed allows one to lose the obsession over alcohol and thus not have to worry about being triggered.

One can easily fall back into danger if he/she does not continue to work and live the 12 Steps but if one has a good sponsor and self-awareness he/she can stop this backslide and return to a healthy, spiritual, physical and emotional, recovery.

Dave the Dude.

People, Places and Things

I recently wrote about how dangerous it is to tell people that “meeting makers make it”. However, Alcoholics Anonymous is filled with various clichés that do ring true for me. Some of my favourites are:

SLIP: Sobriety Loses It’s Priority

Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes

It works if you work it and you’re worth it so work it.

If you hang around a barbershop long enough you’re going to get a haircut

The barbershop cliché is a great segue into the one I wanted to address. People, places and things. During a meeting the other day someone said they couldn’t control people, places and things. I totally disagree with that statement. I have control over the people I hang out with, the places I hang out at and the things I surround myself with.

When I got into recovery I had to make some big changes (see cliché above). I changed the people I hung around. I wasn’t judging them or casting aspersions on them but they were detrimental to my recovery. A week out of my last treatment centre, a little over two months into recovery, I was driving home from a meeting and a car beside me started honking, the driver motioning for me to pull over. I figured it was someone from AA so I pulled over. It turned out it was a former crack dealer asking me if I wanted something. I said no thanks and that was it. I told that story to someone and they asked me if I told him off. I responded by saying no, up to a little while ago I’d been avidly seeking him out. He didn’t know I wasn’t interested in anymore and there was no need to get nasty. I started surrounding myself with AA people. I had a few close friends that I talked to daily. My first year I went to this coffee shop every night. There was a group of AAers who went there after meetings. We talked about recovery but also just chatted about every day stuff. I began to feel good in my new social setting realizing that I didn’t have to drink to fit in.

Lastly, I chose what types of things I have in my life. I don’t have bongs on my mantle. I don’t have fluorescent beer sign on my wall. Etc. Etc.

Through the 12 Steps I gained freedom. While active in my alcoholism and addiction I had no freedom. I was controlled by my higher power – alcohol/drugs – and did everything for it. Having lost the obsession over alcohol and mind altering substances I now have the freedom to make my own choices. I also have to face the consequences if those choices are wrong.

Dave the Dude

Meeting Makers Don't Make It!

If it’s one thing that these trying times are proving to people in recovery is that Meeting Makers Don’t Make It. Don’t get me wrong I truly believe that meetings are very important. Alcoholics Anonymous is built on three pillars – Unity, Service and Recovery. Unity is going to meetings, talking to people and getting that face-to-face support. Service is helping your group, your area, etc. Recovery is completing those steps. 


At the end of my very first AA meeting I was surrounded by members, given phone numbers, encouragement and provided with hope. The people there could tell, before I even shared, that I was a newcomer. The shaking from withdrawal and the shaggy beard were a dead giveaway. I feel bad for newcomers in these times as the same type of reception I received is impossible from a Zoom meeting. But saying that “meeting makers make it” is both dangerous and wrong. If I had just gone to meetings and not completed the steps I’d either be a dry drunk, plain old drunk or dead. 


I see posts daily on social media about people relapsing because they can’t get to meetings. Either these people are newcomers or people who have been relying solely on meetings to keep them sober. As it says in the Big Book, “frothy, emotional appeal seldom suffices.” Just going to meetings is that frothy emotion that Dr. Silkworth was talking about. 


I am a recovered alcoholic/addict. I am recovered because I completed the 12 Steps of recovery and work them daily into my life. The Steps have given me freedom to go anywhere and experience anything without drinking. These trying times are causing anxiety, depression, anger, etc. but I have the coping skills to deal with these emotions without taking a drink or drug. 


I miss face-to-face meetings but I’m not losing my sobriety over it. The Steps have shown me that I have to take responsibility for my actions and that using a lack of face-to-face interactions as an excuse to drink is not taking responsibility. That’s my old way of thinking. Nothing changes if nothing changes and the Steps bring about a positive change. God bless.

Dave the Dude.