Let’s set the record straight. In regards to 12 Step
Programs here’s what I was taught by those who went before me and what I tell newcomers
who ask me questions or to sponsor them. First of all the guide to the 12 Steps
is the Basic Text of Alcoholics Anonymous (Big Book). It was written by the first 100 members of AA
and hasn’t changed since 1939. The Big Book states:
We of Alcoholics Anonymous, are more than one
hundred, men and women,
who have RECOVERED from a seemingly hopeless state
of mind and body.
Note
the word: Recovered. It’s not recovering. We have completed and continue to
work the 12 Steps and as a result are no longer powerless over alcohol. As Step
One says: “We WERE powerless…” This nonsense people spout that if one doesn’t
say they are recovering they are going to relapse is pure nonsense. Why would I
want to join a fellowship if there was no hope in sight? It was the hope I felt
leaving my first meeting that prompted me to go to my second meeting and so on
and so on.
Now
let’s address marijuana. In regards to a 12 Step Program if you are using
marijuana you are not in recovery. I’m not saying not to do it if you think it’s
helping you out medicinally in some way. I’m just saying when it comes to the
programs of AA, CA, NA, etc. you are not considered recovered if you’re
smoking, eating etc. the Ganja. I can’t join the Church of Scientology and then
say Xenu doesn’t exist. If I join a 12 Step Program then I have to respect the
program not try to change it meet my current condition. That’s what I did when
I was active in my addiction. I kept trying to change the outside world to suit
me rather than changing myself. “Lack of power that was our dilemma” (Big
Book).
“Now
about sex…It’s so easy to get way off track. Here we find human opinions running
to extremes” I keep hearing judgment of others who have relationships in the
Fellowship. Let’s use some common sense. For many people if they want to be
successful in recovery they have to give up many of their old friends and
acquaintances. I know my first year of sobriety I was going to a minimum of one
meeting a day, two if I was able. I would then go to a coffee shop every night
to hang out with sober people and to shoot the shit. Just as romances strike up
at some people’s workplaces it’s inevitable that romances are going to strike
up in the Fellowship as that is where the majority of one’s socializing occurs.
Now, I’m not advocating someone with multiple years of sobriety trying to bang
a newcomer – I’m a firm believer in men stick with men and women with women –
however, if two people, who are rooted in their recovery, decide to go out what
business is it of ours to judge? I say good luck.
Finally
I’ll end with talking about people who show up to a meeting intoxicated or they
are still drinking outside of the meetings. I’ll quote a long-timer who talked
to me about this early in my recovery: You don’t sober up to come to AA. You
come to AA to sober up.
And
that’s me setting the record straight.
Dave
the Dude
