It’s been over a year of this pandemic and it has been challenging for everyone. One thing I have learned in sobriety is that one must accept life on life terms and this pandemic is no exception. I’ve had many challenges in my recovery from the death of my beloved Father to colon cancer which resulted in an extremely painful recovery that almost led to a nervous breakdown. The pain was so great that I decided to take Percocet as prescribed by my doctor. I informed my sponsor of this decision and took the pills as directed. I stopped taking them once the pain became tolerable. That painful experience provided me with a whole new respect of people who deal with chronic pain. But I digress – I was talking about the challenges of this pandemic One word - Zoom. At the beginning of the pandemic, when all the meetings shuttered (at least in my area), it was the saving grace. People were able to attend meetings across the world. Which is pretty damn cool!! I stuck to my area and primarily to my home group. Unfortunately my Wi-Fi connection wasn’t the best and there was many the time where I lost the connection and was only able to attend part of the meeting. Usually meetings leave me feeling serene but when I have technical problems my serenity is quickly lost. But I managed. I was able to fix my Wi-Fi issues and the meetings went on. Several months in my home group was finally able to meet in person. Oh the gratitude!! One never really appreciates something until it’s taken away from them. When my home group got back together, following our first lockdown, it was like coming home after a long voyage. I realized the importance of in-person meetings. Even if you can’t hug one another (my home group is very close) it makes all the difference. My area has been back in a lockdown situation twice since then but my group continues to meet in-person. As far as I know we are the only group doing this in my area. There’s a 10 person limit and COVID19 safety protocols are followed. The most people we’ve had so far have been nine. I’m hoping once the weather warms up, and we can hold meetings outside, those numbers will increase
One of the things I have to look out for in sobriety is when I start to isolate. It’s a sure warning sign that I have to make some changes. But when one is forced to isolate, as a result of public safety protocol, then it makes things tough. One thing that alcoholic/addicts are good at is facing adversity and I had to make allowances. From social media recovery groups, to texting and calling close friends in recovery (including my sponsor) I was able to keep in touch with healthy people in recovery. I’ll still be glad when I’m able to do this in person. But as previously said - life on life terms and this is the current reality.
A big challenge I have faced during this pandemic was career wise. I had been working for the same place for over four years – a non-profit organization which helps people with mental health issues. When the pandemic hit there were a lot of changes and many of the organization’s programs were shut down. Staff were crammed together, vacations declined and punitive and illogical safety procedures were put in place. Management used this to their advantage and were able to turn certain staff into spies (AKA: snitches) who reported anything they deemed unsafe from someone who forgot to put a mask on within 30 seconds of leaving a non-mask area to someone eating at their desk (because for some illogical reason health authorities deemed eating a cookie at desk as a sure way to pass COVID on). Staff began to distrust each other and morale plummeted. Then redeployment a moment’s notice began. For some reason this redeployment was forced, primarily, on myself and one other colleague. One day I was asked to redeploy and lost my temper. I raised my voice and swore to aloud. Unfortunately one of the snitches was around and decided that me getting upset made the workplace unsafe for her. The snitch called the evil manager (who the week before had yelled at client causing the client to feel unsafe resulting in the client leaving the facility) and that manager began an investigation. The investigation involved interviewing everyone but me. As a result I was fired. The union is currently grieving this. Two hours after getting fired I had a new job. I look back at this situation and, as AA has taught me, look at my part in it. My part is losing my temper and not having my acceptance higher than my expectations. My expectations were that management would treat all employees equal. Alas this rarely happens in the world.
As my area returns to another 28 day lockdown all I can do is accept this and live life on life’s terms. My home group continues to meet face-to-face and I thank my higher power for that! I have a roof over my head and a job. I’m sober, above the grass and not in jail. Alas, for many this is not the case and the pandemic has made it hard for newcomers. Higher power willing this pandemic will soon be over and AA can return to as it once was.
Dave the Dude.
