No Manners & Stupid Drivers: Seem to go together

So I was at my favourite Tim Hortons Drive-Thru the other day waiting in line. I kept two car spaces between myself and the vehicle in front of me so that the those exiting could get out. From out of the blue this guy in a White Ford pick-up dashes in front of me. Not only did he cut in line he also blocked the exit for the vehicles I was trying to let out. Usually when a fellow motorist does something to piss me off I curse aloud in my vehicle. However, this time the rage was beyond that. I shouted the word asshole out several times, enunciating each syllable clearly, in hopes that he would be able to see it in his review mirror. Kind of stupid logic when I think about it now, for this guy was most likely the illiterate, white-trash, sleezoid, my hometown of Shwa (AKA: Oshawa) is known for. So it was ridiculous for me to think he could read yet alone read my lips through his rear-view mirror. Luckily these idiots are slowly going the way of the mullet. But I digress. Fuming it was finally my turn to order. I gave my usual order but at the end I requested that the employee tell the moron in front of me that he was an asshole. I'm pretty sure she didn't even though she told me she did when I got to the pick-up window.

This incident got me to thinking about the all the idiot motorists out there who don't seem to know, or care, about the rules of the road and care even less about being polite to their fellow motorists. Here are a few of my pet peeves that I see motorists commit each day.

Not signalling. Jesus, it's not to hard to push the little lever in your vehicle to communicate to those behind you that you are turning left or right. It drives me crazy when some one just stops in the middle of the road without a blinker on leaving those behind to question the sanity of the driver. While I'm on the subject of turning when I'm making a left hand turn (or going straight for that matter at a red light) I get as close as I can safely get to the centre of the road so that those behind me can either go straight or turn right. The curses echo throughout my car whenever I am stuck behind someone who cannot comprehend this simple idea. Sticking to the subject of signalling. I appreciate those who have mastered said skill but please, PLEASE, put your signal on prior to hitting your breaks. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As I said I live in Oshawa which is often referred to as a dormitory town. Meaning, most of us sleep here but we commute to work outside of the city. The majority of people drive to Toronto (which I did for approximately five years) but luckily I drive the opposite way. Despite less traffic I still travel on the 401 and run into a multitude of moronic drivers. The worse offender is the person who does not understand that the left lane is not for those driving under the speed limit. If you wonder why vehicle after vehicle is passing you in the middle lane it probably means you are slowing everyone up by driving like a grandma in the fast lane. Move the fuck over already. When driving in this lane one is to maintain the speed of the, 'flow of traffic'. If you want to drive at a leisurely pace go in the middle or right lanes. It's easy for the majority of us to understand this simple rule but for some of you it does not seem to compute.

When getting on to a highway there is a lane called the on-ramp. There are two roles for this lane. First it is designed to allow one to merge into highway traffic. Secondly it is designed to allow someone to get up to highway speed in order to merge safely into said traffic. To this day I cannot understand the person who maintains city street speed while driving on an on-ramp. If you don't want to drive fast then take the scenic route or go to Toronto and take the DVP.

For those of us who are able to get up to a proper speed on the on-ramp would the guy in the lane next to us please move the hell over so we can get on. It's actually illegal for you stay in that lane, blocking those trying to merge into traffic.

The above pet peeves are but a few of the things other motorists do to irk myself and thousands, nay millions, of motorists on a daily basis. I would list more but my rage meter is going through the roof. I'd love to hear some your stories and pet peeves.

Oh and more thing - if I let you into traffic give me a damn wave or a head nod. I always do to those who show me driving compassion. 
Dave the Dude

I Was a Defect Waiting for Character

In order for someone to recovery from an addiction one must be able to change. If nothing changes then nothing changes. As one completes The 12 Steps of Recvoery one finds out what needs to be changed within. When one completes Steps Four and Five he is left with a list of defects of character (AKA: toxic behaviours) that one has to change. I soon found out that I was a defect waiting for character.

A common list of character defects which Alcoholics Co-Founder Bill Wilson also termed short comings are as follows:

1. Selfishness.
2. Self-centredness.
3. People pleasing.
4. Dishonesty.
5. Maniupulative.
6. Arrogant.
7. Judgemental.
8. Prideful.
9. Gluttonous.
10. Lustful.

The list can go on and on depending on the person. It's in Steps Six and Seven that we begin to try to rid ourselves of these defects of character. In most cases we cannot totally get rid of them but we try to lower them to the best of our ability. Part of the Seventh Step Prayer asks our Higher Power to, "...remove from me every single defect of character that which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows." An important part of this statement is the part that asks to remove the issues that interfere wtih one's usefulness. To me this means my Higher Power may want me to hold on to some of my character defects as they may be of use in the future. That would be part of my Higher Power's plan for me (AKA: Thy will be done -not mine). 

In Step Six we become ready to get rid of them and in Step Seven we ask our Higher Power to help us. However, that doesn't mean these Steps are done. In my experience these Steps must be worked at on a daily basis. It's up to me to make the changes within msyelf that will allow me to turn these toxic behaviours into healthy ones. I do the best I can do and must have faith that once I have done that my Higher Power will take care of the rest. 

I often use the Step 11 Prayer as a guideline to where I want to be:

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace!
That where there is hatred, I may bring love.
That where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness.
That where there is discord, I may bring harmony.
That where there is error, I may bring truth.
That where there is doubt, I may bring faith.
That where there is despair, I may bring hope.
That where there are shadows, I may bring light.
That where there is sadness, I may bring joy.
Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort, than to be comforted.
To understand, than to be understood.
To love, than to be loved.
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life.

—Saint Francis of Assisi—

I must always remember that it's progress not perfection but the above prayer is the ideal I strive for. Recovery is a way of life whereby I strive to be the best human being (not human doing) that I can be.

Dave the Dude

Disturbing Trends

There are multiple roadblocks to people getting help for addictions. The first obstacle, and one of the hardest, is for someone to admit they have an issue and ask for help. In order for to that to occur there must be a level of trust. Prior to seeking treatmnet I trusted my family doctor enough to tell him all that I was up to - drinking, drugging and other risky behaviours. He did not judge me nor come right out and tell me to stop drinking, etc. What he did do was subtly influence me to come to the realization on my own that I had a problem and needed help in solving it. It was then that I took my first step in a long road towards recovery. The most important word in this story is 'trust'. I trusted my family doctor and if I did not I would not have told him a thing.

I've been in the addiction treatment industry for a few years now and over the last couple of years I've noticed a disturbing trend. People are going to either a family doctor, ER doctor or walk-in clinic doctor seeking help for the effects caused by addiction. In turn, these doctors are reporting their conversations to the Ontario Ministry of Transportation (MTO). The MTO, in turn, decideds to suspend the patient's driver's license even though the person may have never drank and drove in their life.

This decision to take someone's licesne away without proof that they actually broke a law seems like it may be against the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms. If someone admits that they drink too much that doesn't mean they are breaking the Motor Vehicle Act. More importantly when word spreads of this trend people who want to get help will not tell their doctor the truth for fear of government retribution. This new barrier could lead to a cornucopia of people not finding the help they need. People's addictions will eventually lead them to the ultimate sober cure - death. For this is a fatal disease if not put into remission.

I am not advocting drinking and driving nor letting someone off the hook for drinking and driving as part of recovery is taking responsiblity for our choices and accepting the consquences. What I am advocating is for doctors and the MTO to stop being the judge, jury and, possibly, excutioner of someone who is facing a serious disease.

Dave the Dude