I recently had my 43rd birthday. I had to work the day of but celebrated with my fiance a couple days before. It was pretty good. I haven't been much of birthday celebrator in years. Many of those years were spent in a drunken drug induced haze and I can't remember the celebrations anyway. Since sobering up I tend to keep things on an even keel. Try not to have really big highs or really big lows. I don't have mountains in my life but rather rolling hills.
It's funny, although I am 43 I still feel like I'm in my 20s. That's emotionally. However, physically, things are changing. I've got hair in all the spots you don't want it. Nose, ears, uno-brow - you name it. My hair also got lazy and sticks to my shoulders and back rather than my head. One thing I could do without is my chronic hemmorrhoid problem. This problem began in my late teens. When I was 17-years-old I travelled to Israel and become very ill due to the water. It did something nasty to my insides. Upon returning to Canada I began bleeding out of a place you don't want to bleed from. Somewhere where the sun don't shine. As I tend to do in life I tried to ignore the problem hoping it would fix itself. Then one day as my Mom was doing the wash she saw that my jeans were covered in blood. Well off to the rear admiral I went. I ended up having an operation to stop the bleeding. However, the rhoid problem remained. I must have been the only 19-year-old in university having to sit on a pillow after our toga party because I was in so much pain. In my 30s I ended up going to see another rear admiral. He worked out of the best named clinic of all time - The Upper Canada Lower Bowel Clinic. I asked him if he had T-shirts but, alas, this was not the case. I stopped attending my regular sessions at the clinic when my alcoholism went into full swing. Today I just do my best to deal with the problem. No more clinics for me - I know what alien abudctees feel like tenfold. No more probes for me.
This past weekend we had a birthday party for my fiance's 13-year-old son. I was driving some of this friends around. I couldn't believe how homophobic and racist these kids are. I thought this was the enlightened generation. No hate towards anyone. One kid proudly said, "I come from a long line of racists". I'm pretty sure he didn't come up with that line himself. As these kids said this stuff I bit my tongue. I know in my day if I said idiotic stuff in a car with an adult I would have been put in my place. But these days if you even look at a kid the wrong way there parents will sue your ass to make up for their guilt over their lack of parenting skills. Heck, in my day another parent could give you a good smack if you deserved it. Now this might be me getting old in my 43rd year but kids today get away with murder.
Finally - yo kid - pull up those damn pants. Stop walking so slow across the street. Don't ask me if you can bum a cigarette. Respect the authority. And once again - pull up those damn pants.
Dave the Dude
