Stop getting so worked up!!

 

I hear many people cutting up advice/suggestions that are not in the Big Book without any explanation at all. I’ve made the odd joke myself. I think of lot of sayings/advice we hear does work if it’s put into proper context.  

I recently criticized the saying “meeting makers make it”. Let me qualify that criticism. If a newcomer comes around and just hears “meeting makers make it” and think all you have to do is go to meetings to stay sober then the majority of them will not. Meetings are, of course, important. When I first came into the rooms, I went to a ton of meetings. I didn’t do 90 in 90 (another saying people criticize) but approximately 180 in 90. Going to that many meetings grounded me, helped with my mental health and made me feel a part of the Fellowship. However, I also got a sponsor, began the Steps and got active. If I hadn’t done those three then I doubt I would have stayed sober. I wasn’t working at the time and going to those meetings, interacting with fellow alcoholics and helping run a service meeting got me out of myself and into recovery mode. For me it was an essential anchor to my recovery.

Another saying people criticize is “relapse is part of recovery”. If you’re talking about picking up a drink/drug then I completely agree. The relapse part of recovery is returning to your old ways, character defects and stinking thinking. There’s been many the time where I relapsed in my emotional sobriety. However, I had the tools necessary to realize what I did (or a sponsor to point it out to me) and was able to make the correction before I fell off that wagon and took a drink/drug.

There’s a large group of people who really dislike “acceptance is the answer to all my problems today” while another group of people love it. (Page 417, Big Book, 4^th Edition). I don’t see why people hate it so much. I have to accept situations as being what they are. The old me tried to change everything to fit what I expected, got a resentment because I couldn’t and then took a drink. I try my best to have my acceptance higher than my expectations so I don’t get a resentment. Acceptance doesn’t mean you accept abuse/violence. It means if you’ve experienced something like that you must accept that it has happened, look at your options (this includes asking for help) then proceed.

Finally, I keep seeing people getting really angry over the saying, “One Day at a Time”. To me this refers to staying sober. Before I came into the rooms a big hindrance to remaining sober was worrying about what I would do come holidays, my birthday, etc. One Day at a Time taught me to just tell myself I’ll stay sober for the next 24 hours and not worry about tomorrow. When tomorrow came, I did the same thing. One Day at a Time does not mean I don’t plan for the future. One has to do that. I have to plan future vacations, for upcoming events, who’s going to chair my home group next week, etc.

When I hear something, I try to look at it from all angles before rejecting it. I try to follow the famous Herbert Spencer quote from our Big Book:

 

There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all argument and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance.

This principle is contempt prior to examination.

When Harm Reduction Casuses Harm

 

I’ve been a recovered alcoholic/addict since January 7, 2005. When I first got sober I was dead set against any type of harm reduction. My opinion was the AA Way or the highway!! Since then my mind has opened to certain types of harm reduction.

I’ve worked on a couple street outreach vans where we handed out safe needle, crack and meth kits, etc. The theory behind handing out these kits is not to encourage drug use but to encourage safe drug use. An addict is going to use whether they have a clean needle or not. However, if they use a clean needle the chances that they contract a deadly or serious blood disease are lowered so when if they ever decide to get sober they don’t face an extra challenge. Getting sober is arduous enough without having the stress of a disease on top of it. Most people know you can catch a disease by sharing needles but do not know how sharing pipes can do it. If someone has a cut on his or her lip/mouth and blood gets on a shared pipe then it’s possible to spread a disease. It is not as bad as sharing needles but remember how careful we were during COVID?

Here’s where harm reduction begins to cause harm. In Canada, particularly Vancouver, we have what’s called safe supply. Safe supply is when the government (funded by taxpayers) hand out free opiates to addicts. Since Vancouver started doing this, the number of overdoses have not gone down. In fact, they have been in record numbers. The safe supply that is given out, for free, is hydromorphone. Most of the people who get this free handout then sell it on the streets and buy Fentanyl. So, in essence, we are funding their drug addiction.

Addiction is a disease and one should not be ashamed that they have it nor be ashamed to seek help. However, it is a unique disease as it’s the only disease that tells you that you don’t have it. If someone had offered me free booze and drugs while I was addictive in my addiction it would’ve been a lot harder for me to reach my moment of clarity which led to change and a decision to get sober.

In my personal and professional experience, one does not change if one does not feel some kind of pain. Free drugs, and what appears to be a new woke philosophy that we should accept that active addiction is fine and dandy thus not encouraging people to get sober, is adding to the death toll. A recent documentarian was in my area to show and talk about his documentary “Love in the Time of Fentanyl”. It’s about the opiate crisis in Vancouver. One of the people in the film was on hand as well. She is an active addict that works at the safe injection sites. She is allowed to smoke crack on the job. What type of job allows someone to actively use drugs/alcohol? I remember in my second treatment centre I told my counsellor that I wish I could get a job that paid me to drink. I guess I should have moved out to Vancouver. Although, I’m pretty sure if I did that I would’ve died from pancreatitis.

Dave the Dude