Spirituality for the Layman

A big part of 12 Step recovery is spirituality. To the majority of newcomers this is a very scary concept. A newcomer will often walk in the room, see the 12 Steps with words like "God", Higher Power" and "Spiritual Awakening" and close their minds immediately. This is especially true of the one who is trying to get help before they have lost everything. However for recovery purposes spirituality is extremely important for success.

A bit of history. The 12 Steps of Recovery derive from the six steps created by an organization called The Oxford Group. This organization practiced First Century non-denominational Christianity. Both co-founders of Alcoholics Anonymous, Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith, belonged to The Oxford Group long before meeting one another. When Wilson sat down to write Alcoholics Anonymous (aka: The Big Book) he turned those six steps into the 12 we are familiar with today. Prior to getting sober Bill was visited by a long-time drinking buddy named Ebby. Ebby had found sobriety through the Oxford Group. Like the newcomer who sees the word "God" and closes their mind so to did Bill when Ebby stated that he had gotten sober by finding God. Bill's mind opened a bit when Ebby suggested that Bill find a God (Higher Power) of his own understanding. During Bill's last stint at Towns Hospital for alcohol withdrawal he had a spiritual awakening. A white light shone upon Bill through a window and he lost his obsession with alcohol. His doctor, Dr. Silkworth, couldn't tell Bill what had occurred but told him that whatever it was Bill better hang onto it.

The Big Book tells the story of an alcoholic who sought out one of the most brilliant psychiatrists of his day (Dr. Carl Jung). After seeing Jung and relapsing the alcoholic asked Jung if there was any hope for him. Jung explained to the alcoholic that the only successful cases he had ever seen were people who became sober through some time of spiritual awakening. This gave the alcoholic hope and he ended up having his spiritual awakening and remained sober until his death.

Many people confuse spirituality with religion. They are not at all alike. While religion is a group of people who are told what type of higher power they should believe in as well as being told to follow a certain set of rules, spirituality is the opposite. Not to say that someone who finds spirituality through religion is wrong - they are not. That is just one of the many ways people have found their way to spirituality. Religion can be seen as a vessel that carries a certain type of spirituality but not everyone has to drink out of that vessel. Spirituality can come in many different vessels.

The Big Book defines a spiritual awakening as a personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from [addiction]. Basically a person was acting one way (selfish, self-centred, self-will running riot) and changed their ways in a more positive fashion (selfless, deflation of ego, letting go of self-will) to bring about recovery.  For example, prior to finding recovery I was a liar, manipulator cheater and a thief. In recovery I strive to be the opposite of all that. I am vigorously honest, I let situations play out rather than attempting to manipulate them towards an outcome I want and I treat people the way I would want them to treat me. 

One thing I have learned is that the majority of people coming into recovery have extremely huge egos. This usually translates into someone with very slow self-esteem. One has to be able to deflate the ego without tearing down the person. I came into recovery thinking I was right about everything, everyone else was the problem and alcohol was the issue. As I learned I was not right about everything (nor did I have to be), the majority of my problems were of my own making and that I had a thinking problem not a drinking problem my ego slowly deflated. However, I learned that I wasn't scum of the earth (thousands nay millions of people had done similar deeds as myself). I learned how to love myself and therefore I was able to love others and that I was a good person who had done some bad things (that I had to take responsibility for). Hence while my ego deflated my self-esteem grew. To me this is the basis of what spirituality is all about.

Dave the Dude