I'm a person of long-term recovery and have been in addictions counselling for several years. The disease of addiction is an epidemic (if not a pandemic) in our society. Only a small percentage of addicts/alcoholics make it to treatment and/or 12 Step rooms and of those even fewer succeed.
There is no credible treatment centre which will guarantee permanent recovery. Treatment of addiction, be it in a facility or in a 12 Step fellowship, cannot be guaranteed. It's not like taking a pill for an illness. I often look around at people who I know are trying their best but still don't make it and often wonder why I got recovery and they didn't. The only conclusion I can come to is from a slogan heard in many 12 Step rooms which is: but for the Grace of God go I. Grace is an unmerited gift and for some reason the gift of recovery was bestowed upon me. Not to say that I didn't or don't continue to do a helluva of a lot of work to get and maintain my recovery.
Having said this here are some common themes and/or traits I see in people who have relapsed and/or are chronic relapsers:
1) Stop Doing the Do Things: What are the "do things"? Join a 12 Step fellowship (e.g. - Alcoholics Anonymous; Cocaine Anonymous; Narcotics Anonymous; etc). Join an home group within that fellowship and get active in that group. Get a sponsor and work the Steps, in order and without delay. Go to as many meetings as you can. Pray to a higher power of your own understanding.
When people relapse the first thing they say they stopped doing was all of the above. People get better by doing the "do things" and as a result they get their lives back. This means they get a job, they start getting busy with family and/or a social life. All the things we threw away due to our addiction we now get back. That is what we want, however, if you get too busy with all of the stuff you regained and begin to neglect taking the medicine that got you that you will soon relapse.
2) Blaming the Program for Your Failure: I often see this with people on their fourth, fifth, or more, stint in treatment. You'll often hear them say I tried AA but it didn't work for me so I need to try something else. If pressed they will often admit that they didn't do any of the "do things" that I just mentioned. The person would go to a meeting here and there. They would get to the meeting a minute before and leave right after without talking to any fellow addicts/alcoholics or getting involved in anything. If I have a bug and the doctor prescribes me medicine that I only take once in a blue moon thus ensuring I don't get better then it's not the medicine's fault but my own for not following proper directions.
3. My Problem is A so I can do B: First timers in treatment will often come in because a specific drug has caused and they think they don't have an issue with other drugs. I learned that I couldn't get rid of a cocaine problem if I kept drinking alcohol. Many people come into treatment and/or 12 Step rooms thinking that as long as they don't drink they can still smoke marijuana. The problem here is that when we take another mind altering substance it will lower our inhibitions and will often lead us back to our drug of choice. Addiction is not a using or drinking disease it's a thinking disease and our use is but a symptom of a bigger problem. If we continue to alter our minds we will never solve our real problems. Abstinence is a must.
4. AA is the Only Thing That Can Help: In any movement there are some hard core people. Alcoholics Anonymous is not any different. We usually call people who refuse to believe that other things, on top of the Program, can also be beneficial 'bleeding deacons'. They will stand at the front of the rooms and mock things like yoga, hypno-therapy, exercise, acupuncture etc. What they are really doing is going against the advice they give newcomers when discussing a higher power - keep an open mind. In the Spiritual Appendix of the Big Book it ends with a quote by Herbert Spencer. The quote says that "contempt prior to investigation" will leave a person in everlasting ignorance.
5. Treatment Will Cure Me: Some people think that a 30 day stint in treatment will cure them. First of all there is no cure from addiction. There is only remission from the disease. Secondly, recovery is like building a house and treatment is where you lay the foundation. It's up to you to continue to work on building the frame, etc. once you leave treatment. Some people often think that a three day stint at a detox centre is treatment - this is wrong for obvious reasons.
These are just a few of the common mistake I see in people wishing for a life of recovery.
Recovery is all about change and if one doesn't change then his/her dry date will.
Dave the Dude
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