Predictions for 2011

Everyone is always making predictions for the New Year so I thought I'd give it a try.
My predictions for 2011:
1) Television networks will continue to come up with even more idiotic reality shows. The top one of this year will be Copulating Crocodiles and the Dwarves They Eat.
2) Justin Bieber will give up pop music to try his hand at Death Metal but in a rappish way.
3) Tiger Woods will become a Born Again Christian and have the best year of his life.
4) Dalton McGuinty will ge re-elected Premier of Ontario by the same idiots who re-elected him last time. I will have to bitch and moan about it for another term.
5) Aliens will land on Earth, bring a non-surgical cure for hemorrhoids and get their own late night talk show which will finally blow Jay Leno out of the airwaves.
6) Oprah Winfrey will break her diet by eating her own ego and explode.
7) I will get bigger in the waist and thinner on the head.
8) People will keep hassling the Hoff.
9) Erik Estrada will finally have his American/Canadian television come back in a show about an ex-California Highway Patrol who moves to Caledonia to man the illegal smoke shack.
10) Israel will stupidly continue to build new settlements pissing off the Palestinians who will continue to "never miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity" (Abba Eban).
11) Stephen Harper and the Conservaties will finally get a majority government in Canada.
12) The toy Micronauts will finally make a comeback.
13) Vice President Al Gore will bring attention to global warming by going over Niagara Falls (the Canadian side) in a barrell.
14) Mel Gibson will convert to Judaism and go under cover to document what really goes on in those Jews for Jesus meetings.
15) It'll turn out that Michael Jackson did not die. In fact he and Janet Jackson are the same person that's why they were never out in public together.
Happy New Year Everybody