I
got some flack the other night following a 12 Step meeting where I had announced
that September is Recovery Month and that it was being celebrated in Toronto,
Canada on September 20. The reason the person was upset as the celebration is
not being sponsored by Alcoholics Anonymous and some would consider it an
outside issue. I was also told it was
breaking the tradition of anonymity. I happen to disagree.
The
tradition of anonymity was not meant for us to keep the miracle of our recovery
a secret. I’m allowed to tell whoever I want that I am a person in long-term recovery
and am not breaking any type of tradition if I don’t mention which Fellowship I
sobered up in.
The
primary purpose of Alcoholics Anonymous is to help the still suffering
alcoholic. I firmly believe that celebrating recovery removes the stigma
surrounding addiction and in so doing makes it easier for the still suffering
addict to seek help quicker. Is this not fulfilling the primary purpose? I
would say yes and I think AA co-founder Bill Wilson would wholeheartedly agree.
Bill
Wilson was a firm believer in reaching out to public officials to educate them
on the disease of alcoholism in hopes that such knowledge would shape public
policy. Bill and Dr. Bob Smith (AA’s other co-founder) assigned the task of
educating the public and government policy makers to the First Lady of
Alcoholics Anonymous Marty Mann. Bill Wilson (along with Mann) also spoke in
front of a Congressional Committee in 1969 in order to help spread the message
of recovery and hope.
Wilson
was not using the tradition of anonymity to keep silent or to keep his recovery
a secret. When someone gets upset with me for telling non-12 Step members I am
a person of long-term recovery I have to ask the question, is it me you’re
angry at or are you upset because part of you is still ashamed of your disease?
When I first walked into the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous I was mired in guilt
and shame for the actions I did while active in my addictions. Fortunately, due
to the 12 Steps, I was able to get rid of this guilt and shame and, most
importantly, accept that I have a disease not a moral failing. Do cancer
patients feel shame because of their disease? Do people who suffer from MS or
diabetes feel shame because of their disease? I’m pretty sure the overwhelming
majority of those who suffer from those diseases would say no. So why should I
feel shame for my disease? The answer is – I shouldn’t and nor should anyone
else who suffers from this hopeless condition of mind and body.
People
celebrate all sorts of things and the celebration of putting the disease of
addiction into remission should be rejoiced. When addicts, alcoholics, family
members of alcoholics/addicts come together in celebration it should be
applauded not criticised.
I
would hope that you would find the date in your area for the celebration of Recovery
Month and feel proud to join in the festivities. If not for yourself then to
show the still suffering alcoholic/addict that there is hope out there and the
disease is nothing to be ashamed of. If I don’t tell anyone I’m in recovery
then how will a newcomer find help?
Dave
the Dude
Part One
ReplyDeleteYou might do well to read closely the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions on tradition twelve. Regarding anonymity it clearly states "... at the level of press, radio and films." This now includes social media. By including your last name you have broken tradition twelve.
The 12 and 12 warns us of the possible results of breaking step twelve.
The promoter instinct in us might be our undoing. If even one publicly got drunk, or was lured into using A.A.’s name for his own purposes, the damage might be irreparable. At this altitude (press, radio, films, and television), anonymity—100 percent anonymity— was the only possible answer. Here, principles would have to come before personalities, without exception.(pg.187)
Of being too eager to let the world know of our program, the book has much information. "As the A.A. groups multiplied, so did anonymity problems" (pg. 185). The chapter explains in detail about how we spread the news of our program to those who are interested and to those who are suffering. On a bit of a side note, there are numerous still suffering alcoholics IN alcoholics anonymous let us not forget to help them.
As the blog is called One Dave at a Time and I sign it as Dave the Dude there were no traditions broken. May you want to read the book AA Comes of Age and pay close attention to the part on Bleeding Deacons.
DeleteI never said anything about not to spread the word. I simply quoted the writings of Bill W. The same person you discussed in your post.
ReplyDeleteEveryone I know knows I don't drink. Most of the people I know know I'm a long time member of Alcoholis Anonymous. I just don't break my anonymity in the media like you do. I have read that book, more than once. Again, I never said don't tell people, just as the 12 and 12 suggests we keep our anonymity 100% "at the level of press radio and films." This idea has been revised to include social media.
As I stated I am using a pseudonym so I am not breaking any traditions.
Delete…and yet, with every post I see your full first and last name. How is this a pseudonym? On my posts I see "Red." On Part Two of my posts (the one that seems to keep disappearing) it is signed "Shawna," no last name.
DeleteHmm, interesting. I have posted part two twice, but it seems to keep disappearing.
ReplyDelete"What is anonymity anyhow?" This question is answered in Appendix B of Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age.
ReplyDeleteI have broken post two into two parts to see if the posts disappear.
ReplyDeletePart Two
“How anonymous should an A.A. member be?” Our growth made it plain that we couldn’t be a secret society, but it was equally plain that we couldn’t be a vaudeville circuit, either. The charting of a safe path between these extremes took a long time.(pg.185)
As a rule, the average newcomer wanted his family to know immediately what he was trying to do. He also wanted to tell others who had tried to help him—his doctor, his minister, and close friends. As he gained confidence, he felt it right to explain his new way of life to his employer and business associates. When opportunities to be helpful came along, he found he could talk easily about A.A. to almost anyone. These quiet disclosures helped him to lose his fear of the alcoholic stigma, and spread the news of A.A.’s existence in his community. Many a new man and woman came to A.A. because of such conversations. Though not in the strict letter of anonymity, such communications were well within its spirit. (pg.185-186). This is how we spread the news of our program.
Our work, as such, needed to be publicized. The A.A. groups would have to reach quickly as many despairing alcoholics as they could. Consequently, many groups began to hold meetings which were open to interested friends and the public, so that the average citizen could see for himself just what A.A. was all about. he response to these meetings was warmly sympathetic. Soon, groups began to receive requests for A.A. speakers to appear before civic organizations, church groups, and medical societies. Provided anonymity was maintained on these platforms, and reporters present were cautioned against the use of names or pictures, the result was fine. (pg.186)
Part Three
ReplyDeleteAs articles of AA appeared in newspapers anonymity was of great importance.
As this tide offering top public approval swept in, we realized that it could do us incalculable good or great harm. Everything would depend upon how it was channeled. We simply couldn’t afford to take the chance of letting self-appointed members present themselves as messiahs representing A.A. before the whole public. The promoter instinct in us might be our undoing. If even one publicly got drunk, or was lured into using A.A.’s name for his own purposes, the damage might be irreparable. At this altitude (press, radio, films, and television), anonymity—100 percent anonymity— was the only possible answer. Here, principles would have to come before personalities, without exception. (pg.187)
For those who feel a need to post on public media their full name the chapter on tradition twelve states the following.
These experiences taught us that anonymity is real humility at work. It is an all-pervading spiritual quality which today keynotes A.A. life everywhere. Moved by the spirit of anonymity, we try to give up our natural desires for personal distinction as A.A. members both among fellow alcoholics and before the general public. As we lay aside these very human aspirations, we believe that each of us takes part in the weaving of a protective mantle which covers our whole Society and under which we may grow and work in unity.(pg.187)
"... how will the newcomer find help?" Hmm, gee Dave the first printing of the book Alcoholics Anonymous states, "We of alcoholics anonymous, are more than 100 men and women..." (Forward to the first edition). By 1950 there were 100, 000 recovered alcoholics (Historical Data http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/historical-data-the-birth-of-aa-and-its-growth-in-the-uscanada). By the time the fourth edition of the book was released, "Since the third edition was published in 1976, worldwide membership of A.A. has just about doubled, to an estimated two million or more, with nearly 100,800 groups meeting in approximately 150 countries around the world." Just how will newcomers get help?
Shawna