I never got the jokes my parents and their friends used to make about getting old because I hadn't experienced it yet but I'm starting to. Now, I'm only 43 so I'm not saying I'm that old (according to me - I'm sure my 10 year old niece would think I'm old) but things are definitely changing.
One of the first things to change was my hairline. Now this started at least a decade ago and now I just shave my head completely or I'd look like Larry Fine of The Three Stooges. Despite the lack of hair on my head I seem to have an abundance of it in my ears and nose. No matter how hard I try to get rid of it in those places I always seem to miss some of them. Then there's what I call the rogue hairs. It'll be the middle of the day and I'll glance in the mirror only to see a lone hair in the middle of my forehead.
My eyesight seems to be going as well. Just over a year ago I got a new prescription. This was no ordinary prescription but bifocals. Bifocals!!! I don't know if I need a new prescription already but I find I can't read the instructions on medicine packages any longer. As a member of AA my first Big Book (the text book of AA) was what they called a mini-Big Book. The type must be about this big. I had to buy a Big Book with writing about this big. It's going to be a pain in the ass to change my highlights and notes over from one book to the other.
I believe that everyone in the world has some sort of super power. Mine used to be the ability to fall asleep any time I wanted to. I definitely got a good night's sleep 99 per cent of the time. Well, this super power has gone by the wayside. Not only can I not sleep at will when I do sleep at night it's been less and less a good night's sleep. Lately I've been waking up every hour on the hour having to pee. I went to my usual first consultant for advice - the Internet. It seems I have what's called Nocturia. I know it's not the coffee because I don't have any coffee a minimum of eight to 10 hours prior to bed. I try not to drink too much liquids throughout the whole day - so much so that I swear I'm in a constant state of dehydration. I had an issue with peeing too much all the time and got on some meds for this - it fixed the day peeing problem but the night one has just gotten worse. I will soon be stopping this med anyway as it costs a load of cash and my new job has no benefits.
Speaking of meds the amount of medications I consume has gone up as well. I take one medication that is a mental health one that is indispensable. Another is a special puffer I've been on for approximately eight months but hope to be off in a month. The respirologist said I could stop using it a month ago but that didn't work out. I'm also on cholesterol meds. When I first went on those a couple years ago the doctor said I wouldn't need them if I didn't smoke. The last time I went to see the doctor I said I had quit but he said to stay on them for a bit longer - doh!!!!!
People often quote Jack Nicholson from The Bucket List - "never trust a fart". I learned that lesson back in the day when I was a daily drinker. I used to go through a large bottle of Pepto Bismol a week in the day. The ailments I suffered then became much better in sobriety but I still suffered from stomach issues. Again I turned to the Internet and diagnosed myself with Irritable Bowel Syndrome. It seems my diagnosis was wrong though. Since I quit smoking these ailments have pretty much gone by the wayside.
One thing that age has brought has been wisdom. Here's a few words of wisdom that I've come up with: music in my day was better; reality TV sucks - the only reality TV I watch is Jeopardy and the news; get off my lawn; turn that music down - just because you like it doesn't mean the rest of the street wants to; sports should have a winner and a loser - keep the damn score; stop treating your kids like pussies - when I was a kid I walked to school starting in grade one in all types of weather; and finally PULL YOUR DAMN PANTS UP!!!!!
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