People, Places and Things

I recently wrote about how dangerous it is to tell people that “meeting makers make it”. However, Alcoholics Anonymous is filled with various clichés that do ring true for me. Some of my favourites are:

SLIP: Sobriety Loses It’s Priority

Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes

It works if you work it and you’re worth it so work it.

If you hang around a barbershop long enough you’re going to get a haircut

The barbershop cliché is a great segue into the one I wanted to address. People, places and things. During a meeting the other day someone said they couldn’t control people, places and things. I totally disagree with that statement. I have control over the people I hang out with, the places I hang out at and the things I surround myself with.

When I got into recovery I had to make some big changes (see cliché above). I changed the people I hung around. I wasn’t judging them or casting aspersions on them but they were detrimental to my recovery. A week out of my last treatment centre, a little over two months into recovery, I was driving home from a meeting and a car beside me started honking, the driver motioning for me to pull over. I figured it was someone from AA so I pulled over. It turned out it was a former crack dealer asking me if I wanted something. I said no thanks and that was it. I told that story to someone and they asked me if I told him off. I responded by saying no, up to a little while ago I’d been avidly seeking him out. He didn’t know I wasn’t interested in anymore and there was no need to get nasty. I started surrounding myself with AA people. I had a few close friends that I talked to daily. My first year I went to this coffee shop every night. There was a group of AAers who went there after meetings. We talked about recovery but also just chatted about every day stuff. I began to feel good in my new social setting realizing that I didn’t have to drink to fit in.

Lastly, I chose what types of things I have in my life. I don’t have bongs on my mantle. I don’t have fluorescent beer sign on my wall. Etc. Etc.

Through the 12 Steps I gained freedom. While active in my alcoholism and addiction I had no freedom. I was controlled by my higher power – alcohol/drugs – and did everything for it. Having lost the obsession over alcohol and mind altering substances I now have the freedom to make my own choices. I also have to face the consequences if those choices are wrong.

Dave the Dude