I watch a lot of TV and films and there seem to be a
lot more that have at least one character who is battling an addiction and/or
in recovery. I often find myself cringing at the depiction of 12 Step meetings
in the entertainment I watch.
Most recently I’ve been watching a TV show, from a
few years ago, called The Killing. One of the main characters is in recovery and
attends 12 Step meetings. When the show has a scene in a meeting it depicts everyone
there as being miserable. The show Flaked is similar too. It has many of the
people at the meeting looking sick, sad and sorry and when someone is sharing it’s
always a recounting of the misery they caused and how sorry they are. Don’t get
me wrong we have to make accept and make amends for our past but there’s so
much more to recovery than that.
What attracted me at the very first Alcoholics
Anonymous meeting I attended was that the majority of people of at that meeting
were laughing, smiling and sharing positive things as we went around the table.
If everyone there had been miserable I’m pretty sure I would not have stuck
around. The members at that meeting, and the thousands of meetings I’ve
attended since, had something that I wanted – happiness, joyfulness and
freedom. That’s what actually happens at 12 Step meetings.
Sure when a newcomer arrives they are in a sick, sad
and sorry state – just as I was. That’s how we know that person is new and once
we become aware of this that person becomes the most important person in that
room. When I left my first meeting all the people who shared surrounded me in
the parking lot, welcomed me and told me about other meetings to attend. One of
the traditions of 12 Steps is attraction rather than promotion. We don’t go out
and proselytize but rather act as examples of what the 12 Step program can do
so that when someone is ready to give up the high cost of low living they know
where to go.
In past blogs I’ve stated how much I like the
television show Mom. It’s about a group of women in Alcoholics Anonymous. I’ve been
criticized by people in the program who point out the show is not a good depiction
of the program. I beg to differ. Even though they are not openly talking about
the Steps they are, at least, depicting the people in the program as changing
in a positive way. The meetings don’t portray a group of miserable people but,
rather, happy people dealing with life on life’s terms. It doesn’t shy away
from characters having bad moments but neither does it have those bad moments
the main theme of the show. It even showed the life and death danger of
addiction when one storyline had a character die of an overdose.
I’d rather see a watered down version with people
being happy in their recovery than one with all members being miserable. Maybe
someone struggling will see a show depicting alcoholics/addicts struggling, but
happy, in their recovery and that person will decide to come to a meeting. As I’ve
heard over and over – it doesn’t matter how you came to the program it just
matters what you do once you arrive. But alas, I guess happiness isn’t good
entertainment.
Dave the Dude
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