The Word is Powerful

I’m a firm believer that the Type Three Alcoholic/Addict will not achieve recovery through a spiritual awakening unless he/she completes (and continues to practice) the 12 Steps. Saying that I think those of us who are recovered have to be careful what we say around the newcomer so as to not to give them the wrong idea.

A common saying that recovered alcoholics/addicts say is, “it’s not the meetings you make but the Steps you take”. I agree wholeheartedly but if a newcomer were to hear this without further explanation he/she may think that meetings are not important at all. When I first entered Alcoholics Anonymous I went to a meeting every day (sometimes two) even as I was working on my Steps. One of the legacies of Alcoholics Anonymous (and I would say CA as well) is unity. I believe that unity is found through the Fellowship and that can only be found at meetings. I know I would not have been able to stay sober if it were not for the multitude of meetings I attended and support (positive energy) that Fellowship provided me. When speaking I often say that the Fellowship carried me on their shoulders for the first few months of my recovery.

It is the aforementioned positive energy that I was able to use as a stepping stone to my Higher Power. Carl Jung called it the collective unconscious. For the first time in a long time I was surrounded by people who wanted me to get well and didn’t want anything in return. They told me to come back rather than stay away. They didn’t care if I was shaky or disheveled, they loved me for me.

Just as it is inherently dangerous to say things like, “don’t drink and go to meetings” it is also dangerous to criticize the notion that lots of meetings will help someone. It was at the meetings that I learned how important the Steps were and that the Big Book was the instruction manual. It was at meetings where I found my sponsor and formed a support network of healthy recovered people that I have remained in contact with for over a decade. And it is at meetings that I find newcomers to pass on what was so freely given to me.

Another dangerous thing to say to newcomers is, “stick with the winners not the losers”. The Big Book tells me those who have not yet gotten the program and continue to act/think in a toxic manner are spiritually ill. They are not losers. To say someone is a loser implies that there is no hope. A better way to phrase this would be to suggest to newcomers to hang around people who have completed the Steps and recovered from this “seemingly hopeless condition of mind and body.”

Language is very important and the word can be a powerful tool. I’m sober not clean – a house is clean. I’m recovered not recovering – telling the newcomer I’m recovered shows them that this illness can be put into remission. Meetings are important but if you don’t do the Steps then they won’t be enough. As don Miguel Ruiz Jr. said, “are you letting knowledge control you or are you controlling knowledge?”

Dave the Dude