To Swear or Not to Swear

To swear or not to swear that is the question. What am I talking about? Every once in a while I get into a debate with someone on whether it’s okay to swear at the front of the rooms when sharing your experience, strength and hope. I’m of the belief that one should not swear. I was taught, by those who went before me, that when I share my story at a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous (or any other fellowship) I am representing AA and if a newcomer sees me swearing up a storm I’m not representing the fellowship very well.

Another reason I don’t swear at the front of the room (and try not to in my day-to-day life) is that swearing is negative and anti-spiritual. I expressed this to someone recently and they launched into a giant tirade about me judging their spirituality. The person said, “Who are you to judge my spirituality?” I wasn’t judging the person. I just know, for myself, “a spiritual awakening is a personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from [addiction]” (Big Book, 1939). I acted and thought one way prior to recovery and I act and think differently now. The old me swore left, right and centre and the new me tries not to, especially when sharing my story at the front of a 12 Step meeting.

My friend was perfectly correct. It’s not up to me to tell someone not to swear when they share (except for my sponsees). However, this debate always brings back the memory of a meeting I attended at a fellowship I rarely attend any longer. I was at an open speaker meeting and the speaker was doing a great job. I thought he was great until he suddenly said, “…and then I found my fucking Higher Power”. As soon as he said that I realized that I didn’t want the kind of sobriety that guy had.

I understand it’s, “progress not perfection” (Big Book, 1939),  and that the odd swear word may slip out once in a while abut when it’s purposely done I have to wonder what it the point. Recovery is about change. If hold on to my old ideas that swearing is perfectly okay then I remain stagnant and do not change. As I was taught when I entered recovery if nothing changes my sobriety date will.

Dave the Dude