Emergency Room....yawn

This past week I had the infuriating experience that Ontarians have to face at least a few times in their life. Waiting in the ER. I'd been getting these weird chest pains off and on for a couple months now but they didn't last long. I awoke Monday and the pain was steady throughout the day. I shared this information with several work friends and my girlfriend who advised me to go to the ER. I decided to wait it out because I hate going to the ER. Tuesday morning came and I continued to have the same pain so after work I broke down and called TeleHealth.

TeleHealth is Ontario's medical hotline where you can talk to a Registered Nurse who will advise you on whether to go to the ER or not. I was hoping I would get advised to stay home. However, my RN told me to take a taxi or ambulance to the hospital stat. I decided to drive myself.

I arrived at the ER and after about 20 minutes got to see the triage nurse. She was wearing what appeared to be a see through welder's mask. Turned out it was part of our province's new Ebola safety measures. Anyways, after seeing the second nurse, much to the dismay of those in the waiting room (some who gave me dirty looks) I was taken in right away and hooked up to an ECG. After the ECG was complete I was asked to go back to the waiting room (much to the chagrin of those already there, including the ones who had thrown me a dirty look). And wait I did.

I sat down and began to read my book and people watch every now and then. The place was full. I observed that I seemed to be the only one with a book. I can never understand how people can show up to the ER or even a doctor's office without anything to do. Most of the people glanced at the TV with CP24 running (very low volume) or just stared into space. Several people were complaining of the long wait. I had gotten there at approximately 5:00 PM and many had already been there since around 2:00 PM. I would later learn that a lot of people were there for approximately eight hours.

I notice one lady who was there with he elderly mother who was telling anyone who would listen that they'd been there for hours and that she was told that if her mother's doctor had just called ahead they would have gotten in right away. This went on for a long time in which I went from feeling empathy to just wishing she would shut up already.

There was one kid there with his Mom and Grandmother who had been there for a long time. He became very agitated when told his Dad would not be coming to pick him. He kept telling his mother that he wasn't going to stay and that it wasn't fair. I had to agree with him. I later observed it was his Grandfather they were all there for.

Finally at 10:00 PM I got to see the doctor. I met with him for approximately five minutes and was then sent off to get a blood test. The lady who took my blood (the very same who gave me the ECG) jabbed the needle in. I have never had a blood test hurt so much. There were several other people getting blood taken and they were all in agreement with me. While waiting for blood I noticed an old priest lying on a gurney. He shimmied off it and was struggling to put on his jacket. I went over and helped him get it on. A few minutes later I saw the nurse run after him for he had decided to wander off. She got him back and laid him back on the gurney.

After the blood was taken I was sent back to the waiting room once more. An hour later everyone I had sat with to get blood taken were getting called back in save for me. It turned out I had missed my name being called as I was in the bathroom. Luckily I figured that out within 15 minutes. Turns out my ECG and blood tests were all fine. The ER referred me to a cardiologist and told me his office would call me the next day. The next day came and the cardiologist's office never called. I waited until the end of work the next day and called them myself.

I'll have to see what happens when I go to the office later this week for some sort of test. I was told not to have any caffeine for 24 hours and to wear comfortable clothes. Hopefully it goes well.
Dave the Dude

Can't think of anything inspiring to write about

I love writing and that's why I started this blog. But I have always been waiting for something to inspire me before I wrote anything. The last few months have been pretty non-inspiring. My life has not had any dramatic ups or downs and thus I have not had anything grab my goat to write about.

However, I've decided to write even if I don't have anything inspiring to write about. I'll just talk about how my week went if nothing else comes to mind.

This past week had no ups and downs. For me that is a good thing. Before I got into recvoery I was addicted to excitement. Might be the reason I was attracted to cocaine/crack. I was always trying to top my previous "adventure". When I got into recvoery I had to learn to enjoy a moderate life. Today I like my life nice and steady. A good weekend for me is an uneventful one. I'm content to have a coffee, hang out with friends and loved ones and watch a good flick or television show.

Speaking of television shows one of my favourite new ones for this season is Gotham. It's the story of Gotham before Bruce Wayne becomes Batman. The first episode opens with the murder of Wayne's family and the introduction of a young Detective Gordon (furture Commissioner Gordon). We also are introduced to young versions of The Penguin, Cat Woman and The Riddler. It's a very dark series and has lots of potential. Constantine is not bad either. I think it's the new Supernatural (for those of you who are into that show). Supernatural just started it's 10th season and seems like it might have "jumped the shark". Despite this I'll keep watching it for now. Another show I didn't like at the begining but have stuck around with faith that it will get better is Mulaney. The first few episodes were terrible but last night's was pretty good. I actually laughed out loud at several jokes. If you get a chance to watch Mulaney's standup speical check it out (you can see it on NetFlix).

That's it for now. So until next week...
Dave the Dude

One Dave At A Time: Misconceptions of the only Disease That Tells One...

One Dave At A Time: Misconceptions of the only Disease That Tells One...: I've been reading a lot of comments and a lot of opinion pieces about Rob Ford and the disease of addiction. As  a recovered alcoholic/a...

Misconceptions of the only Disease That Tells One You Don't Have It

I've been reading a lot of comments and a lot of opinion pieces about Rob Ford and the disease of addiction. As  a recovered alcoholic/addict I can truly say that it is a disease (or if you don't like that word use the word "illness" as Alcoholic's co-founder Bill Wilson did). The OMA and many other medical authorities consider it a disease as well.

Alcohol and/or drug addiction is a two-fold disease. It's a disease of mind and the body. For brevity sake I'll just talk about alcoholism (however, drug addiction is the same). When I was an active alcoholic as soon as I took that first drink something occurred in my body and I couldn't stop drinking until I either ran out (and couldn't find any more), passed out, etc. Those in Alcoholics Anonymous refer to this as an allergy. Besides the physical aspect when I was an active alcoholic I was obsessed over drinking. I could never get enough. I'd order a beer in a bar and as soon as I took my first sip I'd begin to worry about getting my second one. I was addicted to more. When I first started drinking it helped me relax, feel part of, be sociable, let my guard down, allowed me to escape pain, anger, etc. When the drink started turning against me (it started interfering in my every day life) I couldn't remember with sufficient force the consequences of a week or even a day before - all my mind remembered was that when I felt a certain way alcohol took the feeling away.

Having said that let me make it clear having this disease does NOT take away the responsibility for the actions one took while drinking/drugging. Once you realize you have the disease it's your responsibility to get help to treat this disease. A person who has diabetes has a responsibility to keep track of what they eat, use insulin, whatever is required. An alcoholic has the responsibility to treat his/her disease. In my experience the best way to do this is to attend regular meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous and to work a 12 Step Program. Part of that 12 Step program is the step of making amends (Step Nine). I am responsible for all the damage I did while in the throes of my addiction. I make amends for that damage, to the best of my ability, as part of the treatment of my disease. Making amends not only show that one has taken responsibility for one's actions it also shows that one is serious about staying sober. Alcoholics Anonymous members call this, "going to any lengths" to stay sober.

Rob Ford went to a treatment facility. Despite what some people think going to treatment does not cure this disease. This disease cannot be cured but it can be put into remission. Recovery is like building a house and treatment is laying the foundation for that house. It's up to the individual to take what he/she learned at the treatment facility and apply it to real life. Time will only tell if Ford can build his house.
Dave the Dude

One Dave At A Time: From Both Sides of the Desk

One Dave At A Time: From Both Sides of the Desk: My Dad's was a social worker and whenever we watched a TV show or a movie that depicted a social worker in a bad light he would get real...

From Both Sides of the Desk

My Dad's was a social worker and whenever we watched a TV show or a movie that depicted a social worker in a bad light he would get really upset. As a kid I never understood what the big deal was. But with the recent spot light on Rob Ford and his entry into an alcohol and drug treatment centre I'm beginning to understand my Dad's angst.

I've been hearing a lot of wrong depictions in the news and from callers on talk radio about what treatment centres and addiction are like. As someone who is a recovered alcoholic/addict and has worked for several years, at three facilities, as an addiction counsellor I'm beginning to get a bit upset.

The first time I got  upset was when I heard this guy call up a talk radio show saying he was a crack addict with two days sobriety and that he'd been trying for years to get sober without success. He also stated that it was virtually impossible for addicts to get sober. From my own experience I can say that one can be successful in recovery. One just has to start with a desire to quit and be willing to be totally honest with oneself. Getting sober isn't an easy thing to do, it takes a lot of hard work. But as I've learned in life anything worthwhile is not easy. Once someone obtains sobriety the job is not done. It takes a lifetime of vigilance for one to remain recovered from a "seemingly hopeless condition of mind and body" (Big Book of AA, 1939).

I went to three treatment centres. The first two were outpatient and I didn't go to get sober but to learn how to drink "normally". That was my mistake. An alcoholic is like squeezing all the toothpaste out of the tube. Once it's out you can't get it back in. Once an alcoholic always an alcoholic. After years of abusing myself and treating my family like crap I hit an emotional and spiritual rock bottom and was ready and willing to get sober. My third and, Higher Power willing, last treatment centre was just the thing I needed. It was a 21 day program and was completely 12 Step (AKA: based on the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous). It was also funded by charity and catered, mostly, to a population who couldn't afford to pay for treatment. The rules were tough and fair. No cell phones, no computers, no swearing, no being late, no wearing a hat inside or at a meetings. One had to be prompt to meetings and meals and there were days offs We were allowed to walk into town to pick up smokes, snacks, etc. but we only had 20 minutes to do so. If one refused to follow the rules they were asked to leave as they centre had a huge waiting list and didn't want someone who didn't want to get better taking a space away from someone who did.  From this centre I learned how to be responsible, accountable and honest. It was a good start to a lifelong journey of recovery. After graduating from the treatment centre I immersed myself in AA meetings. I worked for a bit then went back to school to become an addictions counsellor. I would later return to the treatment centre not as a client but as an employee.

After working a couple years at my Alma-mater I moved on to another facility. This one was mostly fee for service - meaning people had to pay to get in. What I quickly found out was that at a fee for service style treatment centre the rules were not as strict and often money came before rules. Exceptions were often made for rule breakers. This could turn out good and bad. If someone who broke a rule learned form their mistake then it was great but if someone did not then they often just distracted the people who were there to get better from the program. Although the rules were not as stringent there were still rules and many were the same. No cell phone, no computers and no fraternization between clients. Nine out of ten times when clients got together "romantically" it ended in relapse or even worse - domestic violence. Two unhealthy people getting together doth not make a healthy person. I would later move on to another fee for service facility with many of the same rules.

All the treatment centres I have worked at had a part (big or small) of their program dedicated to spirituality and the 12 Steps of recovery. In my experience 12 steps is the most successful way to recovery from this illness. One of the most important things a person must realize is that treatment centres do not cure you of this illness. It is not curable. Recovery is like building a house. Treatment helps one build the foundation. Once one leaves treatment it's up to them to begin to build the rest.
Dave the Dude

More Damage Than Good

I’ve been working in the addictions field for a few years now and have begun to notice some disturbing trends. The goal of detox centres, treatment centres and recovery homes is to help people suffering from the disease of alcoholism/addiction. I have found that some places become so stringent with their rules that they forget the whole reason they are in existence. 

Part of my job is to help clients post-treatment. Sometimes that entails helping them get into a recovery home – a house where there are other people new to recovery and that is safe from alcohol and drugs. These types of homes have applications the person must fill out and send in. One such house in Toronto doesn’t have the application handy on their website. You must call them up and request them to fax the application form to you. In dealing with this particular place it usually takes a couple reminder calls and over a week for them to send you the application. Time is vitally important in helping the population I deal with and a week is an awfully long time. A client of mine called this recovery home in Toronto to have them fax the application over and was told to use the one they had sent for a previous client. This made no sense to me since the previous client had filled out the form themselves. Not wanting to play phone tag again and wait a week for this recovery home to fax us the application I decided to retype the form. The form itself was composed of approximately 10 pages and looked like it was the same one they’d been using since the 1980s (it seemed to have been typed up on a typewriter). Well, I retype the thing word-for-word (I did correct some spelling mistakes and grammatical errors) and had the client fill it out and then I faxed it into the recovery home. Over a week later the manager of this recovery home calls me and says to me, in a very condescending tone, that although the application I retyped is worded exactly the same it doesn’t look like the one she uses. She actually said that she has thousands of these forms and they all look exactly alike and this one doesn’t look the same so the client would have to start the application process all over again. I was stunned. I almost called her an anti-retype-ite. It’s this kind of petty thinking that ends up killing people. For let’s not forget the disease of addiction is a deadly one.

Another experience I had was when I tried to get a different client into a long-term treatment centre. This place wanted him to wean off of a certain medication they didn’t allow clients to be on who attended their program. That’s fine – I’ve dealt with and worked for organizations that had such rules. The part that bugged me was that they wouldn’t even give the guy an intake interview until he was completely off the medication. Depending on the medication and dosage this could take some people weeks or months to do. This further delay can wreak havoc with a person’s recovery. Not only did the organization stipulate this, it also wanted the person to come in for a personal interview despite the fact that the person was a few hours away and had no mode of transportation to get there. Most places are accommodating to such circumstances and will conduct an intake interview over the phone.

These are just two examples of the closed-minded thinking some organizations have towards the people they are there to help. I’m also sorry to say that type of thing happens most often in taxpayer funded organizations. Are these organizations there to give themselves a feeling of power or they are there to help a vulnerable part of society
Dave the Dudew